The other day, I was having a talk with one of my sisters about some of the bad choices people make. That conversation sparked something inside of me. My siblings and I haven’t had the easiest lives, and MOST of it wasn’t our fault. As children, we weren’t the decision makers, we had no control over having a bad childhood. Choices were made and those choices weren’t up to us. However, at some point, we have to take the necessary steps towards healing and recovery. With that comes clarity and a switch from blaming others to being accountable for ourselves. Once we reach a certain age we have control of our decisions and actions. We can choose to live a life where we blame our past experiences for the way we are today. OR we can say, "yes I have been through hell and back, but that doesn’t define me today."
Everyone’s healing is different, it’s not easy to break free from the past, but we have a choice (and the power) to break free from what’s holding us back. For generations my family has faced alcohol abuse, drug abuse, and child abuse. I choose to break these generational curses for my family. I made that choice so my kids won’t live their lives with traumas. My kids will be enjoy their childhood and not be forced into parentification.
At some point, we need to stop living in the past and blaming it for who we are and the decisions we make. Yes, trauma can and will shape our decision making. No, we do not have to continue letting our trauma control us. It’s time to face ourselves. It’s time to realize we are who we are not because of our past, but because we’re not letting go of the past. We are in control of our actions and our life. We make our own decisions now. We get to choose breaking free from what holds us back.