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Stuck in my mind

Updated: Apr 17, 2022

Through all the traumas I’ve survived, I feel like I’ve closed my mind off to thinking. I get so trapped inside my mind that I’ve trained it to zone out as a form of escapism. I’ve trapped myself into believing that although I’m working hard to push forward, it’s not possible/I won’t accomplish it/it’s too ambitious/I don’t have the resources, etc. The reroutes, failed dreams, obstacle and ideas are challenging me. They take control of me and I begin feeling that everything I want to accomplish has no possibility of coming to fruition. It takes me down the rabbit hole and I become depressed about the idea of never breaking free from the life my parents have given me.

Growing up, I was always told I could do whatever I put my mind to. I could be whatever I wanted to be, I could do whatever I wanted to do, the world is mine and I have the ability to shape my future. As a child, positive reinforcement and affirmations are important. At that age our minds are eager to learn and we absorb everything we are told. With a little imagination, a little idea could go a long way and seeds are planted. Seeds of hope, exploration, and limitless bounds.

Now that I have my own children, I believe I have an obligation to teach them about disappointment, challenges, rejection and failure. Because no matter who you are or what you do, we will all undoubtedly experience one or all. Realism can be nurturing — it’s all in the delivery. Imagine a conversation where we arm our children with critical life skills. Where we explain that sometimes when we plant a seed & water it… nothing grows. Or maybe what sprouts isn’t what they planted… how do they take that and pivot to get the outcome they want. That not every failure is necessarily a failure, but rather a building block to a stronger foundation. Think of how much stronger they’ll be if they their challenges become their opportunities.

I wish I was given the tools that I have access to now, such as positive coping methods and mental health "tool kits." Access to resources about bettering myself and my family. Resources for mental and physical health. Resources for helping navigate and escape financial burdens. I didn’t have these resources growing up, but I have them now. And I’m going to make sure my children have exposure to and knowledge of everything I didn’t. The things I wish I had been taught, I will teach them, and one day… they will teach their children. And it won’t feel foreign or remotely unfamiliar because the cycle stops with us.

I Will Overcome.

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